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Thanks-living

I am inspired to write a post due to Aunt Ruthie over at the Sugar Pie Farmhouse. Her little blog is so adorable and her decorating sense is incredible. Who doesn’t love another good ol’ southern gal? 😉 Click on the link to hop on over to her blog and check it out.

http://www.sugarpiefarmhouse.com

In her newest blog post, Aunt Ruthie talks about “Thanks-living.” This is something I have been focusing on quite often in recent months. She goes on to explain that Thanks-living is living your life with intention and looking for the small blessings in day-to-day activities.

I always try to start my prayers off singing God’s praises and thanking Him for all the wonderful things He has given me. Sometimes I just jump into a prayer, pouring out my problems and then think, “Sorry, God. I have all sorts of things around me that you have blessed me with. Sometimes my problems are so tiny compared to the problems of others in the world.”

Today, I want to recommit to being positive. I want to try even harder to look around at the beauty and blessing the Lord has already bestowed upon me.

I have a roof over my head. We have food to eat. I am able to make my home a beautiful sanctuary for my family. I have a job. We are able to have fun. We have our health. We live in a wonderful, free country. I have my baby boy – the biggest blessing of all!

I hope everyone else is doing well. I pray that you are able to see the blessings around you as well.

On another note, last weekend I was able to plant some flowers in the garden. The weather is so crazy here in Texas! I’m pretty sure it was almost 80 degrees yesterday – no lie.

Jacob had so much fun helping me take pitchers of water out to water our new flowers. It’s amazing how a simple task can be so fun for a toddler. And who am I calling toddler?? He’s four now. My little baby is growing up.

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Busy day.

Yesterday was nice. I was just happy in general. The mood carried on after a great weekend. We haven’t had such a good weekend in awhile and it was refreshing.

I started on my craft project yesterday. I took the mats, old photos and glass out of the 4 frames I purchased from Goodwill. I then spray painted them white. They will need a second coat of paint and it was a little late yesterday so I didn’t get to finish up.

I also purchased two brass candlesticks from the Hospice Thriftstore. One is a regular looking candle stick and the other is flower shaped and a little shorter. I spray painted the tall one white and the flower one a light pink. They need another coat as well. I loved the white and pink because I can use them for Valentine’s Day and also, Easter. I am planning on tying a bow on the white one with some spring colored ribbon.

Of course, it was late and I forgot to take ‘before’ pictures but I will most certainly take ‘after’ pics!

The happiness of yesterday didn’t last all day.

I got off work and needed a glue stick for my craft projects. I sent RH a text message asking if I could stop by Walgreens on the way to pick up J from daycare. He said that was fine. On the way to Walgreens, I decided to go to Joann’s Fabrics because it is close and easier to get in and out quickly. I sent RH a text message asking him if I could go there instead. He said it was fine. I picked up my son first and then headed on over to Joann’s.

During this whole process, I was texting RH constantly. While driving… while picking up my son… while at Joann’s… He said he doesn’t have a problem with me going to the store on my own if he knows what I’m doing.

When I got home, I grabbed my bags from Joann’s and put my cell phone in my purse. I took my son inside and set my purse on the couch. My son needed to go to the bathroom so I went to turn on the light for him. When I got back to the living room, I heard the *ding* of my phone saying I received a txt.

When I checked the message, it said “What are you doing????” I txted back, “Nothing. J had to go to the bathroom. I am taking price stickers off of my stuff so I can paint it.”

During txting that last message, I got another “What are you doing???” and I responded, “I just sent you a txt.”

He called and asked what I’m doing, to which I replied the same answer as my text message. He said “Ok” and hung up on me with no “I love you” or anything like we always end off our conversations.

A short time later he sent me a text message saying, “I love you. Sorry.” and I wrote back that it was okay.

When RH got home from work (about 30 minutes later), I acted like I always do. I gave him a kiss and went about making dinner. He went to the living room to watch TV.

A short minute later, he came back in the kitchen and said “When did you turn on the TV for Jacob?” I responded, “When we got home, I turned on Cars for him to watch.”

He said, “Well, the DVR only shows that it has been playing for 8 minutes.”

I told him, “That’s because it stopped Cars to record your music show you have set to record everyday and I had to switch it back over so J could watch Cars.”

He always checks up on me and constantly accuses me of things. It is the most frustrating part of our relationship. I have never been unfaithful to him. This is our biggest struggle. It just killed my happy mood and made me wish I didn’t even try to go to the store by myself.

After this, I had a mini-breakdown. I want to be honest. I couldn’t stop crying. I felt like no matter how beautiful I try to make our home, how hard I try to be the best wife to him, it won’t matter. He still won’t trust me when I didn’t do anything to lose his trust anyway. I never wanted to be with anyone else except him.

He was rude all morning and it still being rude to me now. I’m just tired. I don’t want to be at work.

I know all the changes I am making are worthwhile. I just have to keep up the good work and try to live the way God wants. I have already seen so many changes in myself and in RH. I want us to set a good example for our children and keep our life moving forward in a positive direction.

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